wanted: sewing machine

Blest recently confessed that she swears profusely. My own confession is less shocking, but humbling nonetheless.
Our sewing machine broke a couple of months ago, and has not yet been replaced. It just feels wrong to have 7 homeschooling daughters, cook from scratch, live in the country and be so very Prairie Muffin-ish but not own a working sewing machine. I hang my head in shame.

crazy idea #1:
This may be a long shot, but does anyone want to swap a sewing machine for an authentic 400 year old Framed Geneva Bible Page or the same thing in the King James version? Or maybe one of each…

cue narrator’s voice: “Retail value, $94.99 each!”

These are the same pages sold by Vision Forum in their current catalog and on their website.

crazy idea #2:
I would love to trade some advertising on my blog for a sewing machine. Any takers?

crazy idea #3:
Okay, I’m actually out of crazy ideas. Does anybody else have an idea for me?

Can anybody tell that I really want a sewing machine?

Happy birthday to my mom

Did you ever wonder what a mother of 14 and grandmother of (soon to be) 20 looks like? Isn’t she beautiful?
I just hope I look this good when I’m 53. Wait a minute…I’d love to look this good right now!
Last year we gave her a grandson for her birthday. The year before, my sister did the same thing. This year we were hoping our Tennessee sister would follow suit, but her boy hasn’t made his appearance yet. With less than 4 hours to midnight, the chances are looking slim. I guess we’ll have to figure out a different gift for Mom this year.

Frog & Prince

What can I say? He’s had us squealing with laughter and disgust for a year now. Happy birthday to my little guy.
This video is not for the faint of heart. Just for the record, we wanted the yucky face. We didn’t think he would really do it. After all, the girls had tried unsuccessfully for ten minutes off-camera to get him to do it.

Ballantyne Book giveaway!

Vision Forum has a new series: Ballantyne Christian Adventure Library. There are 10 titles for sale now at a great price for high quality hardbacks. Inside sources say these books are everything you would expect from Vision Forum. They are well written, fast paced, with a rich vocabulary and exciting storylines. The characters are strong, courageous, virtuous, principled – except for the bad guys, of course.
And the Christian worldview is inextricably woven into the book, from cover to cover. I am a firm believer that one’s worldview shines through in all that one does, and Mr. Ballantyne was a Scottish covenanter of the 1800’s. You will know that when you read his books.
From the VF website:

Ballantyne was not just another writer of the Victorian age who penned exciting historic fiction. His strong and uncompromising Christian presuppositions undergird all his stories. He encouraged his readers to put their trust in God for this life and the next, and taught in his stories that the one safeguard against evil is the redemptive love of God.
…But for Ballantyne, Stevenson might never have made his travels through the Pacific where, notably, he wrote his masterpiece Treasure Island. Reading Ballantyne’s The Coral Island at age fifteen sparked in Stevenson both his life-long love for the South Seas, and a fierce devotion to his fellow Scot. Stevenson even included Ballantyne in the introduction to his book Treasure Island, where he dubbed this proponent of Gospel Christianity and boyhood adventure, “Ballantyne the Brave.” The title stuck.

So here’s the best part. I get to give away one title each week for the next 10 weeks!
This week’s title is The Coral Island.

Probably the most popular and thrilling story by R.M. Ballantyne, The Coral Island is a breathtaking account of narrow escapes, harrowing trials while stranded in the south Pacific, the very real need of the cannibalistic, pagan savages for the light of the Gospel, and the courage of three young adventurers.

To enter the drawing for this title, just leave a comment on this post.

You know what? I was wrong. The weekly drawing isn’t the best part. It gets better: blog about Ballantyne Books (be sure to link back to Vision Forum) and mention this giveaway, and you will be entered in a drawing for a full set of all 10 books! The winner of that drawing will be announced after all 10 individual titles have been given away. Just include the following phrase so I can find your post:

Life in a Shoe is hosting a giveaway of Vision Forum’s exciting new adventure series, Ballantyne books.

Let the comments begin!

The Other Jamestown Party

Forgive me if I’m biased, but I love the way Vision Forum does things. I wasn’t able to attend, but I’m pretty sure they did a great job on the Jametown festivities – everybody came back breathless with excitement!
They got some attention from Newsweek too. Check it out:

The Other Jamestown Party

A group of conservative Christians staged their own celebration of the 400-year anniversary of the historic colony—and blasted the official commemoration as politically correct folly that failed to recognize Jamestown’s importance as the beachhead of American Christianity.

read the whole article (read it. now.)

So…who was there? Was fan-tabulous?

aaawwwww….

He’s so sweet and quiet…when he’s asleep…

To all my virtual friends…

If you have emailed me recently and didn’t receive an answer, I want you to know that your email is safely nestled in my inbox among the other 169 messages that I fully intend to answer.
Here is what my To Do list looks like right now:

1. Finish mudding, sanding and painting two more closets.
2. Hang new racks and shelves in said closets.
3. Prep the bathroom floor and lay laminate tile, in preparation for setting the vanity and having a real sink with real running water in the bathroom.
4. Replace my closet light.
5. Continue to stalk the owner of the sire of our litter of registered Golden Retriever pups until I get the necessary paperwork from her. I’m beginning to think that the owner has gone into the witness protection program.
6. Housebreak the last remaining pup, while praying that the buyers of the other 9 don’t get impatient and decide that we’ve defrauded them because they don’t yet have the registration papers for their pups.
7. Answer the 169 emails in my inbox.

If you think that sounds like a heavy load, you should see the list of things we’ve already done. If you’re really interested, you might want to keep an eye on Hubby’s blog – I think he intends to post some photos.

Gas station help – please!

I don’t often beg for input, but this is something important to me so please consider participating.
On our roadtrips, we rarely stop for fast food; we pack snacks or meals and make all our bathroom stops at gas stations.
Although money is a factor, we do this mostly for economy of time. Fast food restaurants rarely have enough stalls for our family to finish quickly, and we like to buy something if we use the restroom. At a nice gas station, the kids can bolt for the bathroom and run around outside for several minutes while Hubby puts $90 into the gas tank.
It already takes our family 18 hours to make a 13 hour trip; separate stops for gas & bathrooms would stretch it out far more.

So what’s the problem?
Vending machines.
Have you seen the obscene vending machines in many gas stations? I’m not talking about the ones that hawk feminine necessities at obscene profits. I mean the ones that I have to stand in front of while all my children of reading age wash their hands. There are nouns and adjectives on those machines that I do not want to explain to them. There are some words that need no explanation.

Here’s where I need your help. I searched the internet in vain. These machines seem to be randomly placed. Large stations and small, old and new. The porn on the magazine stands is no longer such a problem, but the problem is alive and well in the restrooms.
Does anyone know if there is a national chain that conscientiously maintains family-friendly restrooms? Maybe child-friendly restrooms would be a better term.
If nobody knows, can you all help identify the offenders? If you see one of these machines, leave a comment to describe the location with as much or as little detail as you like:

• name of the store (at least tell if it’s Shell, Chevron, BP, etc)
• city/state, location (is it on the interstate? in the city or middle of nowhere? mile marker & interstate name would be great!)
• basic description (big shiny truck stop? little old gas station?)

If you don’t want to provide all that info, just let me know in which chain you saw the offending machine.
If you all will help by telling me what you know, I’ll compile the info and see if there are any identifiable patterns. I would also like to go to the major chains and ask them to consider removing these machines. We spend nearly $500/month on gasoline, and would be delighted to patronize a chain that takes a stand against obscenity. How many of you would do the same?
Who’s with me on this?

How many times can you use the phrase "8 kids"?

We pulled into the bank drive-through yesterday and the kids got right to business:
“Mom, how do you spell 8, as in 8 kids?”
“I love our big van because all 8 of us can fit in here!”
“I wonder how many other families have 8 kids like us.”
“I wonder if they have 8 suckers in the bank?”

In case you haven’t figured it out by now, our bank often gives out candy in the drive through. Tragically, our windows are darkly tinted. The teller never knows just how many are hiding in my van.

In a stroke of genius, somebody yelled, “Sound off!”
“One!”
“Two!”
“Three!”
“Four!”
“Five!”
“Six! Seven! Eight!”

Sadly, the two youngest were asleep in their carseats. We must have lost credibility when Six also yelled Seven and Eight.

It didn’t work. We didn’t score a single sucker. But we were laughing for the next 10 minutes, which is better than candy. So maybe it did work after all.

Babies!

Crystal is scheduled for induction tomorrow (Wednesday), so keep her in your prayers ~ and in your browser.

And don’t miss the incredible story of the newest Large Family Logistics baby. You won’t believe it! I don’t think they believe it!
start here
update here
happy ending here