Anonymous commenters, and your burning questions answered

Wow, y’all! Thanks for the great response on why you read my blog. It seems like there’s a bit of a consensus: most are curious about how daily life works in a large Christian homeschooling household, and/or are looking for encouragement as their own family grows beyond the bounds of polite mainstream society. Does this seem like a fair summary?
I guess it also helps that I’m a smart aleck I try to have a sense of humor when things go awry.

I’m sorry for disabling anonymous commenting – I realize that many of you don’t have a Blogger account and are now unable to leave comments, but thank you to those who took the time to email me privately anyway! I had to disable anonymous comments because of nasty spam that kept getting past the word verification.
For those who don’t have a Blogger account, do you realize that all you have to do is set up a gmail account? You don’t need to actually have and use a blog…just get an identity. I’m not sure if this still requires an invitation (does anybody know?) but if so, email me and I’ll send you one. If you want to, I mean. No pressure.

And to answer a few questions:

How is the tarantula?

She is fat and happy, enjoying frequent crickets and moths. Kait named her Shelob and holds her occasionally.

What did you do about lunch [the day you went to the zoo] since you didn’t bring any, and home was an hour away?

After the zoo, we briefly considered McDonald’s 99 cent double cheeseburger, then decided we could do better. We hit the grocery store instead, and for $7 we had a jar of dry roasted peanuts (protein), a bunch of bananas, a bag of pretzels, and a quart each of strawberry and chocolate milk. We were splurging a bit, had plenty of food and still spent less than a cheap and scanty fast food meal.

Who cooks? Do you have regular menus? Your food ideas have been appreciated- the pumpkin custard, banana dogs, “raw” ramen noodles.

The older girls cook more and more lately. I now have 4 who love to do it! I rarely cook breakfast or lunch, and I have ready helpers for dinner as well.
I should have regular menus and life is much smoother when I do, but I often find myself winging it (not good! Do as I say and not as I do!) At the very least, I do try to have several dinners in mind and settle upon something by early afternoon.
The last time I shopped I had a detailed meal plan (including breakfasts and lunches – something I rarely do) and lost the menu right after shopping. Grrr. Apparently, I left my brain in the shopping cart too, because I couldn’t recreate the menu. Consequently, I’ve been winging it again. So far I haven’t done too badly, but it’s almost time to shop again. Does anyone have a recipe that uses spaghetti sauce, cream of mushroom soup, green beans, and tortillas? Didn’t think so…

Hey, have you got any tips on running afternoon chore time so that you
don’t sound like a sargeant major?

Maybe I should practice what I’m about to preach, because I have the same problem. Having said that, let me encourage you to make sure there is some sort of reward for those who work diligently. Try setting a timer and give a glass of chocolate milk, a children’s vitamin or a mop to whoever beats the timer.
Yes, with the proper tactics almost anything can be a reward. It’s all in the sales pitch. I have been known to reward diligent workers with the privilege of mopping, washing baseboards, or organizing a cabinet. Shades of Tom Sawyer…they love it! I should mention that the baseboard bit rarely works on anyone over the age of 4.

I need examples of how to handle it all when it all happens at once. (I’m afraid I may have control-freak tendencies ;oP ).

That’s when I start blogging in my head. I tell myself, “This will be funny later.” Then I’m ready to laugh when it gets even worse, because you know it will.
I think God uses these moments to humble us, to remind us that we can’t do it all. In fact, we can’t do anything good without His help. Sometimes it’s just easy to forget this when things are going smoothly. We want to take credit for the peace and order and beauty around us, so He jiggles our day a bit.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Control freak – now you say, “Control freak, who.”

Ironing, and loving it

edited to add photo
I haven’t read the book, but I think my hubby’s love language might be ironing.
Please don’t tell me that you haven’t ironed in 20 years, and you just hang your hubby’s clothes right out of the dryer. I’ve tried that, and it just doesn’t look like real love in our house. Maybe your hubby’s love language is food or closet organization. My guy likes his clothes ironed. It took me a long time to realize this.
For many years, I used the standard issue garage sale iron. It worked. Like any good wife, I hated ironing but did it when I had to.
Then the iron broke and I had to buy a new one. Hubby encouraged me to replace it with a nice one, but I’m frugal, right? I bought the cheapest one. It leaked, and the temperature was highly unpredictable, but it worked. I complained about it, and the girls and I scorched a few items (how frugal is that?) so we exchanged it. Do you think I learned my lesson and bought a nice one like Hubby suggested? Nope. I bought another of the same sub-$7 model.
Guess what? It leaked, and the temperature was unpredictable. The girls and I scorched a few items. Yeah, that’s me: frugal housewife. Save a few bucks on an iron and ruin half of Hubby’s clothes.
So finally, Hubby bought me a nice iron. He bought me a digital iron with a compass in the stock and a thing that tells time – er, I mean with a stainless steel plate and turbo steam. I can feel the power when I hit the button! It’s a heavy iron, but heavy in a good way. It’s well-balanced, and has enough weight to do the work for me. It makes me feel confident and capable and formidable. It’s a .45, not a wimpy little .22 caliber iron. Did I mention that it heats in about 1 minute? And hey, it’s shiny.
I love my new iron. I love my man, who knows that it’s sometimes good stewardship to spend a little extra. And I love the way his clothes look when I’ve ironed them with a shiny, heavy, leakproof iron that beeps at me for working on the same spot too long.

Questions, anyone?

Having broken my addiction to blogging, I now have trouble remembering just how I managed to post 2 or 3 times/day.
Do you have any burning questions that I can answer for you? Why do you read my blog? What would you like to see more of?
And a question from me to you: was that last post entirely too gross? I found it strangely hilarious, but hubby thought it was just plain disgusting. We both decided that maybe you had to be a mom to see the humor, but I know there are moms out there and nobody has said anything. Maybe you have to be a mom desperate to see the humor in a thoroughly disgusting situation, but surely I am not alone there either.
So, too high on the Gross-o-meter?

I guess she’s eating a varied diet

This morning Rachael asked for help going potty. I told her to use her stepstool and call for me to wipe her when she was done. This seemed like a good idea at the time since I was already multi-tasking. When is a mom *not* multi-tasking?
A few minutes later, I had to reconsider my judgment. Five-year old Becca’s voice came from the bathroom, sounding urgent and choked. With laughter or disgust? Or both?
“Mom! Rachael pooped her panties – in two colors!”

Walk-a-thon: drawing for sponsors

My mom is organizing a homeschool Walk-a-thon for St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital and we’re in it. Details for the drawing are at the bottom of this post, but no fair peeking. You have to read to the bottom.
Our Kait has posted a request for sponsors for herself and 2 of her sisters, and I’ve decided (gulp) to participate as well.
Keeping in mind that I am a lazy slug who rarely walks or exercises, would any of my kind readers like to sponsor us? I’ll most likely be walking with arthritic knees and 2 little people in a stroller, so I’m not too ambitious about racking up the miles. I’m thinking 5-10 miles, tops.
Am I crazy?
Sooo….if you’d like to help us out, just comment or email me. It will be easy: I’ll post how far I walked when it’s all said and done, and you can use Paypal with St. Jude in the subject line.
We would love to have your support singly or as a group, per mile or flat donation. We’ll even post photos.
You can read Kait’s Walk-a-thon post for more details. Go on. You’ll make her day when her statcounter goes crazy, and if her sponsor sheet suddenly fills I’ll post a photo of her doing the Happy Chicken Dance.
*******************************************************
BONUS: free gift!

After the Walk-a-thon, we’ll do a drawing among those who give at least $5 total. Four sponsors will receive a bookmark made from a 400 year old Bible page, and one more will receive an entire page from an early Geneva or King James Bible!

The washer saga, and Thankful Thursday

We recently went 11 days without a working washer. It was horrible.
We cheerfully hung our laundry out to dry for months when we didn’t have a working dryer.
We went months without a kitchen of any sort, cooking solely in a crockpot and grill, rejoicing in the added luxury of an electric roaster.
For 5 months, the only open source of running water in our house (not connected to the washer or toilet) was the tub. We washed dishes in a basin on the table. Pioneer living.
We are slowly finishing our house as we live in it and doing without many small, inconsequential comforts of daily living. No big deal.
But washer-less days were a trial. All 11 of them.
I called a repairman right away on that Saturday afternoon, and they promised to be out Monday. Maybe first thing Tuesday morning if they got bogged down. Honest. We have bought 4 appliances from these people and they were good on service. Our freezer needed a warranty call anyway, so why not have the guy work on the washer while he was here?
OK. We could live 3 or 4 days without a washer. The laundry would pile up, but nobody would go naked.
So far, so good.
Monday came and the hours ticked past. I called to make sure he would be here today or early Tuesday – otherwise, I needed to go the laundromat. The lady on the phone assured me: “Sure, he’ll be there to fix your freezer.”
“And my washer, right? The washer is the important one on this call.”
“Oh, your washer? OK.”
Tuesday morning came and no Roy. I called to see what had happened, and the nice lady on the phone was a little puzzled. “Let me have Roy call you.”
I still didn’t have clearance to go to the laundromat. What if Roy was on his way?
Hours later, he finally called. He wasn’t on his way to fix my freezer yet – he wanted to make sure he had the proper parts on hand.
“And my washer, right? The washer is the important one on this call.”
“Oh, your washer? OK.”
We talked about model numbers and noises and symptoms, and he assured me that he would be here Wednesday. Early.
OK. Nobody was naked yet. Wednesday would work.
Wednesday…no Roy. I called, and he was checking to be sure he had the right part for my freezer.
“And my washer, right? The washer is the important one on this call.”
“Oh, your washer? Yeah…about those front-loaders…I don’t know if you really want me to work on it. They’re really hard to diagnose and it might take 3 repairs to really find the problem.”
Me: “So are you saying you don’t want to work on it? I really wish you had mentioned this earlier. I would have called somebody else 5 days ago.”
Roy: “ummm…yeah. Sorry. I don’t want to. But I’ll fix your freezer for you…”
Very nice of him to offer, since it was still under warranty.
Roy: “…and since I’ll already be out there, I’ll see if I can fix your washer too.”
huh?
Roy: “Let me just check to see that I have the part for you freezer and I’ll be out.” Click.
OK. He was finally on his way. I thought. Apparently, I misunderstood.
Wednesday rolled on past, and Thursday dawned upon us. Certain people were wearing their very last pairs of underwear and things were looking grim. I called Roy.
“Are you coming out today? Because I thought you were coming out yesterday after we spoke…” My voice trailed off.
Roy answered: “Oh, I ordered your part yesterday. It should be here in about 3 days.”
“Oh. Thank you.” Click. That was me.

So we went to the laundromat, and washed 14 glorious loads of laundry. We dried a bit while the second round was washing, and dried the rest at home.

Then we called the local small-town appliance people, and they said somebody would be out Monday afternoon or Tuesday morning. Deja vu. gulp.
Monday, they called me. It turns out, their repair man is recovering from a brain tumor, so he sometimes works half days. He came out but went to the wrong house and thought we weren’t home (our fault – no house numbers posted out here in the country). He wouldn’t make it out again today, but we were first on his schedule tomorrow.
On Tuesday morning, he was here. He spent 13 years working for Sears, often on Frigidaire front loaders, and was not afraid of our washer. He fixed it for far less than we had hoped and chuckled when I told him about the other guy’s apprehension. Yes, they are hard to diagnose, but our New Repair Guy knows these machines.
Hey, it’s Thankful Thursday. I’m thankful for a reliable, knowledgeble repair man in the tiny town near us, and for the privilege of doing laundry in one of them thar new-fangled electric washer. Hanging clothes out to dry is one thing; washing them by hand would be quite another.

gasp! …must…blog…

Sorry y’all. Were you worried about me?
I’ve been trying to rework our family business site, Geneva Bible Pages. Trying. You might have noticed that it hasn’t changed a bit.
That’s because I’m working behind the scenes. First, I installed Drupal for content management. We have grand plans, and needed something powerful. Free is nice, too.
I worked with it for several days (between meals, diapers, and other acts of life) before I really got a grip on how to create and manipulate content. But after coding our own (very simple) site from scratch, we were sorely disappointed at how difficult it was to truly customize Drupal. We could do whole lot inside the Drupal box, but it’s very hard to break out of that box. We finally realized that it was just too well-built for its own good. We want a flimsy box that looks nice on the surface but is easily broken out of.
We deleted it.
Two days ago, I started blundering about inside OSCommerce, another free program. This one is simpler. Still powerful, but a bit closer to what we have now (in the way that a real horse resembles Barbie’s plastic pony. Drupal was a…well, not a mammal at all. Maybe it was a DVD player or something.)
Today, I realized that I had blundered too much before I read about OSCommerce, so I deleted it.
I reinstalled it and started from scratch. Now I’m beginning to like it, although I’ve hardly started on the second round.
So now that you know I’m still breathing, you can breathe a sigh of relief. And maybe say a little prayer, that God will grant me patience, intelligence and other good stuff.

And now I’ll answer your burning questions even before you ask them:

1. Why isn’t laundry on the list of Acts of Life?
Because my washer was broken for most of that time. Now it’s fixed. Long story. I’ll tell it someday. Just rejoice with me for now.

2. How can a lowly mom install powerful programs like Drupal and OSCommerce?
Because my great and wonderful, really cheap, highly helpful web host already has them installed on the server. I just have to hit the Install button, then the Finish Install button.
And when I forgot to hit the Finish Install button, they kindly troubleshot my installation and hit the neglected button for me. Now that’s service.

3. Who is this great and wonderful, really cheap, highly helpful web host?
I can’t tell you, because they finally have an affiliate program (which I begged them to do) and I haven’t signed up yet. When I sign up, you’ll be the first to know.

4. Where do you find time to do all this?
I don’t. Please don’t drop in unannounced right now. It won’t be pretty.

Did I miss anything? Ask away!

World’s funniest jokes

CNN.com conducted a world-wide survey to find the world’s funniest joke, and came up with a winner. Maybe you’ve heard it already, or even seen it in one of its variations.
They also made some generalizations about the sense of humor among citizens of many countries and reported the favorite jokes of Americans, Canadians, Germans, Australians, etc.
Which is your favorite?

HT to She Lives

Laundry

I have quietly scoffed at those who suggest a large family simply must have 2 washers and dryers. We get by quite comfortably with just one of each, and even air dried all our laundry for months when we were “in between” dryers. Pioneer living!
But now…
Did I mention that our washer went out over the weekend? A second washer may be a needless luxury, but I now see that a backup washer could easily be considered a necessity. It’s a slim difference, I know, but an important one. Like a refrigerator, life without a washer very quickly becomes challenging.
A sweet friend offered us an extra washer of her own for free (!!!) but we really want to repair ours if possible. It’s a snazzy front loader, a Mother’s Day gift from 5 years ago, and the only brand-new appliance we ever bought. Besides, front loaders are really cool when they spin.
After days of staying home, expecting the repairman at any hour, we finally broke and ran for the laundromat yesterday morning.
I suspect that we are a relatively conservative family when it comes to laundry. We only accumulated 14 loads since Friday.
As we sorted clothes, stuffed the washers and added the laundry soap, I was tempted to complain. The price had risen to $1.25/load just for washing. The washers were tiny compared to my luxurious front-loader. There weren’t enough washers to start all the laundry at once and we were in a hurry to get done, home and out again for my dentist appointment. There was no toilet paper in the bathroom. The place was drafty and unheated, on a morning so cold that our own water pipes had frozen. There was no coin changer. The hole in the wall where the vending machine had been torn away (vandalism?) only added to the overall picture. The only bright spot was that all 10 machines were working.
I soon realized that the increased price was going to cause me to run short on quarters. On my second trip to the convenience store for change, I grumbled a little about the price of washing a load of laundry. The clerk’s comment stopped me dead:
“Oh, that place is still open? The owner said he was going to close the laundromat because the cost of running the gas dryers was just too high.”

Hello. My name is Kim, and I’m thankful to God today because even though I live in the middle of nowhere, the tiny town 8 miles from my house has a gas station, a post office, one stop sign, and a 10-washer laundromat.
That dingy little laundromat may not be open the next time I drive by, so I’ll consider myself privileged to have used it yesterday.
I called a new repairman late yesterday afternoon. He didn’t make any promises, but he laughed sympathetically when I told him we had 8 children. Maybe, just maybe, he’ll be able to squeeze in a trip to visit our washer today.

By the way, Thank You to whoever bought Charlie Soap and mentioned me for referring you. I found a free box of Charlie Soap waiting for me at the post office yesterday on my way to the laundromat. Hope you love it like we do!

Modesty survey

The Harris boys (Rebelution) have finally posted the results to their monumental Modesty Survey, in which over 1,600 Christian men, young and old, answer 148 questions about feminine modesty.
Most questions deal with clothing styles, but they also touch upon posture, makeup, hair, etc.
Click on any question in the survey to view the results. They are presented in a graph and fully filterable by age and education (home, private, or public schooled). Don’t miss the text comments for extra insights.
How responsible do you think we are when our apparel and mannerisms cause our brothers to stumble? Is it their fault for “having dirty minds” or ours, if we knowingly wear suggestive and seductive styles? Or both?
Consider as you read the results of the survey – you will come away with a much clearer idea of what tempts the minds of men. What will you do with that knowledge?

HT to Amy for letting us know that the results were ready